Rest and Relaxation lies between Hell and Purgatory: Part 1

I just got back from my mid-tour leave (also known as: R&R-rest and relaxtion or EML-environmental and morale leave) and it was amazing! I won't blog too much on that as I'm sure you don't check in to read about my visiting family and enjoying some lovely wine, but I will describe the process of going on R&R and returning from R&R.


Hell (not all, but some)
For the month prior to going on my leave, I was so excited. At the same time very stressed out. There is 2 weeks of vacation during which I wanted to do and see EVERYTHING. The big thing, however, was seeing family. But in the weeks prior I heard amazing stories from some of my medics who went to places such as Thailand, Australia, and Mexico. The army pays for travel to any place in the world and back, so why not, right? The traveler in me longed so much for a vacation like theirs. One thing stood in the way, though....having a wonderful family! With all the love and support they have given me over this deployment, there is no way I could not devote the vacation to them. If I only had an extra week, I would also do the friends who are like family tour as well, but alas, it wasn't so. At the same time as this stress and excitement, a lot of tension, misery, and anger dwelled. I just wanted to leave this place and I could not stand being here and working any longer. Each day seemed never ending. I found myself being snappy with my co-workers and medics and trying to avoid anyone and everyone.

Then one evening, our sergeant comes to my room and asks me to sign my leave forms again. I said "Okay, but what about the forms I signed a couple weeks ago?" I get a shrug, so thinking they were lost, I sign the paperwork. Two days later, I get the word I am leaving on June 5th instead of June 1st....JUNE 5TH???? How is this? My family had planned the weekend of 5th to be in Chicago for my sisters birthday complete with her taking off work (a big deal since she was taking off the following weekend as well). I was not going to make it home for my sister's birthday if I left on the 5th and that was not acceptable. At the same time, my friend found her leave dates had changed. She had a similar experience with the new paperwork being signed. She was furious as well as her husband had worked hard to take specific dates off of his work. We were duped...not only by ourselves for not reading through paperwork that we signed, but also by our sergeant for not telling us the reason why we were resigning forms when both of us asked. We've had many battles out here with our company and this one was not one we were to lose. Fortunately our 1SG took care of it and was able to change us back to our original signed forms. The experience, however, was insanely stressful. We prescribe a mild blood pressure medication in low dose called propranolol for situational and chronic anxiety and anger issues. I was so furious the day I found out I would be missing my sister's birthday that I ended up taking two to calm me down. It did a good job of keeping me calm enough to do sick call without tearing someone's head off. For me to be that angry is definitely a big deal for anyone who knows how high my anger threshold is.


Finally, the day comes when I have to leave the base. It's a nighttime flight on a blackhawk to Baghdad airport. The seats aren't too bad on this flight, but with holding our bags on our laps, we felt like sardines again. I did get a window seat and just like my initial Chinook ride from Baghdad airport to Rustamiyah, I was diggin' the nighttime city view. According to our dentist who has been deployed before, the city lights are an amazing improvement. He stated his last deployment here, you would've never thought you were flying over a city.


We got to Baghdad late one evening and had to stay the night in temporary tents. The next day I was excited to hear that I would be leaving early in the day. So, of course, three hours before, you have to stand in a formation just so they do roll call. The time came and they call us for formation...all of us hurried in line, excited for the news of what was to come next. "Everyone your flight is canceled, wait for your name to be called and we will give you your next roll call time." AAAAAH! It was like nails on a chalkboard to hear that. It is typical military, but still hurts to hear it. It was 10 AM, next roll call was 5 PM. I fortunately found another captain who was waiting for the same flight. We decided to stroll down to the Airforce base and spend the day in their recreation tent. Now to update on non-military folks. I played a game of darts...and lost; five games of pool...and lost all but one; and, my favorite, a game of Life: Pirates of the Carribean Edition...and lost. I guess I'm not too good at games, but it passed the time and we were finally off to Kuwait. This time, we took the same C-130 that we took into Baghdad and we crammed in like Sardines once again. Again, my knee was logged and started throbbing. This time, it was summer, not winter, and it got very stuffy in the back. At one point, I thought I was going to have a panick attack. I felt like I was suffocating. But a little self-reassurance and I was back on focusing on my ailing knee. We landed safely and I had no idea how I would ever ride one of those again.

In Kuwait, it was smooth sailing. They are a well oiled machine that take you through briefing (regardless of time of day or night). I had a fondness of Kuwait at this point. Mainly because I remembered the camels and because we got to turn in our bullet proof vests and helmuts...30 lbs of extra weight to carry was now out of our hands!

Rest and Relaxation
I had an amazing time visiting my family and now wish I was in a perpetual state of R&R, but alas, I had to go back.